From One To Another
by OnlyEscape
Summary: Dick and Wally. There should be no surprise that this pair of idiots text each other. And that's not including when Roy is with them. This is the trio's normal conversation over text. (No Pairings - just humor and friendhsip between everyone's favorite three losers) Inspired by RedAlert98's version: Wally And Dick's Text Messages.
1. Quick Note

**I'd like to start this off by saying** ** _Thank You_** **to my inspiration,** ** _RedAlert98_** **.**

 **They wrote a multichapter story, "** ** _Wally and Dick's Text Messages_** **".**

 **I was inspired by their writing and creativity, so I wrote my own version of a series of texts between everyone's favorite trio. This was originally posted on Wattpad, under my author name:** ** _NightFlyStars_** **.**

 **After getting permission, I am posting the chapters from there to here. I will be updating the story on both sites. For the next week or so, I will be updating the story here until to the point where the most recent chpater on Wattpad is posted here. There are about 30 already published chapters. After that, both sites will be updated together.**

 **I want to say thank you to everyone who will read this.**

 **-OnlyEscape**

 **Also for future refernce for the story:**

 **' _W_ ' means Wally**

 **' _D_ ' means Dick**

 **' _R_ ' means Roy**

 **I want the story to give everyone a wide smile, so if you have any suggestions, whether it be on this story, my writing style, or even suggestions, I will be open to discussion and am prepared for helpful constructive critisism.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

D: dude. I think i'm possessed. that or I'm officially fluent in cat

D: There was this black cat under my balcony. It meowed so i mewed back. then it replied back with another meow. We stood there, looking at each other, meowing, for like 5 minutes

W: bro, I'd be more worried about the cat.

W: I think YOU possessed IT

W: or you just gave it part of your soul

D: In that case, I think I just made a horocrux

W: ...

W: we need to kill the cat

* * *

W: I saw a photo of the WB studios tour. Theres a case with Dobby in it.

W: all around the case were literally peoples' left socks. its nice to know that people are still trying to free him, even if he did die a free elf

D: This, Wally, is how we know that there is still some hope left in humanity.

W: theres still a chance for us

W: ...

W: wanna go pay tribute!

D: I'm emptying my sock drawer right now. I'll be waiting outside.

* * *

W: bro why are you screaming curses in your room?!

W: seriously! ANSWR ME! Megan and Kaldur are horrified!

D: I STUBBED MY TOE!

D: THE AGONYYYYYY

* * *

W: Im bored

D: wanna play a game

D: I'm gonna give you random scenarios and you have the name the first person u think of to blame it on.

D: World War 3

W: DINKLEBURG!

D: California sinks into the ocean

W: DINKLEBURG!

D: Your untimely death

W: you

D: you got that right

D: America becomes a communist

W: DINKLEBURG!

D: The dead rises from their graves and take over the living

W: you. 100% you

D: wanna help with the incantations

W: ...

D: you can never escape

* * *

D: funny how you just walked into that isle, I just walked out of that one

W: what?

D: get the first brand of peanut butter

W: how did you know?!

D: Ha, im not in that isle anymore

W: WHERE ARE YOU!

D: in your nightmares

D: donuts or cupcakes, get the donuts

W: I can't find you!

D: sorry, you just missed me. just left the bread isle

W: STOP THAT

W: I CANT EVEN GO TO WALMART

D: I told you theres no escape from me

* * *

W: it has begun

W: the painful torture

W: each step fills me with unexplainable pain

W: when will this end?

W: There is still a long way to go

W: I don't think i'll be able to make it

W: tell everyone that i love them

D: Stop being lazy.

D: Walking up a flight of stairs ins't gonna kill you

D: but I will if you don't stop

W: and I now walk with renewed vigor, and reaches the top before a certain mountain lion kills him

D: roar and growl and stuff

W: You know your adorable

D: and those were the last words said by our dear friend Wallace West.

* * *

 **Guest Appearance From Roy**

W: so we're doing it tonight?

D: at 1 A.M. exactly

D: I'll get the glitter, you make sure roy doesn't wake up

W: roy's car will become the prettiest in the land

R: the two of you have obviously forgotten that this is a group chat

R: what were you doing with my car?

R: ANSWER ME!

R: STAY AWAY FROM MY CAR!

R: IF I SEE A DROP OF GLITTER ON IT, THE ONLY GLITTER YOU'LL SEE WILL BE ON YOUR GRAVES

W: Mission Abort! ABORT MISSION!

D: Understood.

D: execute plan R

D: RUN

R: STAY AWAY FROM MY STUFF YOU NUGGETS

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

D: Did you know that 'Gruntled' is the opposite of 'Disgruntled' ?

D: Gruntled meaning pleased, satisfied, contented

D: Why does no one use this word?!

W: you and the english language *sigh*

D: Yet I have a better grade then you

W: shut up.

* * *

W: And the monsters are back

W: I look up to see that the others are already ahead of us yet there are still those left behind

W: it seems that many of us have made it to the top, but I don't think I can

W: My legs are going numb

W: I don't think I can hold myself up any more

D: bro. again?

D: your not even doing anything. we're on an ESCALATOR!

W: so it seems

W: BUT WILL THE BRAVE WALLY MAKE IT TO THE TOP?!

D: I don't know, and I'm not sticking around to find out

W: no!

W: Wait for me!

* * *

D: Plan 34

W: you don't mean it!

W: like are you sure because this is life or death if we're caught

D: four years of searching, spying, and patience

D: Im sure

D: I think i've found out where alfred hides the cookies

* * *

D: dude

D: wally

D: WALLY

W: WHAT its 3 in the morning?!

D: the cat, the horocrux

W: yeah what about it

D: its sitting at the foot of my bed

D: its looking at me

D: its not blinking

W: how did it get in?!

D: my window's open. it wasn't when I fell asleep

W: The DEMON!

W: stay still and breathe

W: if it is possessed by you, see if you can control it. get it to go back out

 ***5 minutes later***

W: did it work?

W: are you there?

W: tell me your alive?

W: HEY!

D: WHAT?! IT'S 3:10! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?

W: Calm down! I just want to know what happened. did you get rid of the cat?

D: what cat?

W: is your window open?

D: yeah? why is it opened?

W: read your texts before this one

D: sure

 ***3 minutes later***

D: you don't think?

W: well there is no proof right?

D: ***sends picture of cat hair near the foot of his bed***

W: Dick?

D: Wally?

W: You know i'll always be there for you, even if there are demon cats around

W: tomorrow we're having a stake-out and catching it

D: you bring the net

D i'll get the holy water

W: Hope to see you alive and well tomorrow

D: hoping for the same

* * *

W: found two pizza coupons. One for Pizza Hut and the other Papa Johns

W: ordered pizza. Waiting for arrival

D: ha tell me what happens

 ***20 minutes later***

D: what happened?

W: turns out the papa johns delivery guy was really a girl. So the Pizza Hut dude had met her a month back but because they were going to different universities, they left each other.

W: The guy was gonna propose. Well, they both got jobs as Pizza delivers ('cause they knew the other loved pizza) so they could by chance find each other.

W: so end of story, when I opened my door, I found him proposing. Now we're eating pizza on my couch

D: room for one more?

W: sure, we've got pizza to spare

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

W: ***sends image of a step ladder***

W: this is my step ladder

W: I never knew my real ladder

* * *

W: remind me to never play monopoly with you

W: EVER.

D: what can I say?

D: when I play monopoly, I PLAY monopoly

* * *

W: BRO, GUESS WHAT!

D: what?

W: remember the pizza twins

D: the ones who proposed?

W: yeah. well guess what I got!

D: isn't that what i've been doing?

W: STOP RUINING THE FUN

W: anyways I got a wedding invite!

D: your joking!

W: nope

W: wanna be the best man with me

D: SERIOUSLY

W: YES

W: MATCHMAKER WALLY IS IN BUSINESS

D: to bad you can't catch a fish for yourself

W: I feel like my catchphrase with you is shut up.

* * *

D: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses World War II and Wednesday comes AFTER Tuesday.

W: MY HERO

* * *

D: help!

D: I lost alfred in walmart

D: Wow. Buy one get half off on toliet paper

D: theres a discount on ice-cream. do you think alfred will let me have some?

D: apparently I have the raw talent of juggling apples

D: Did we run out of cold medicine? I think we ran out of cold medicine. remind me to get cold medicine

D: YESS!

W: you finally found Alfred

D: what? no.

D: I managed to touch the automatic doors before they open

W: GET BACK INSIDE

D: hey! I found alfred!

W: where was he?

D: ...right where I left him

W: i'm done with you

* * *

 **Special Appearance From Roy**

R: have you seen the news?

R: apparently two idiots put 4 GALLONS of bubbles in the Central City mall fountain

W: ***sends photo of him and Dick holding four gallons of bubble bath***

R: like I said

R: Two idiots

D: WE LOVE YOU TOOOOO

* * *

W: I was teaching a little girl at the park about Harry potter and the four houses

D: continue

W: anyways, I told her to repeat after me, griffyndoor, slytherin, ravenclaw, and hufflepuff

W: she said hufflepuff, claw, snakedoor, and "uhmmmmm, what was the doggy one again?"

D: ITS A LION

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

D: What's todays date?

W: the 13th of friday

D: so...

W: ...so what?

D: friday the 13th

W: i still don't get it

W: wait

W: ohhhhhh

D: can't believe you almost forgot it

W: happy birthday you little demon

* * *

W: how old is barbie?!

W: she looks so young

D: thats cause she does plastic surgery

W: are joking or being serious?

* * *

D: Why is there a mustache under my bathroom sink

D: with a sheet of paper next to it with your phone number

W: ohhhh

W: I see you've found my secret 'stache'

D: ...

D: thats actually pretty cool

W: thanks. Ive been waiting for you to notice for four months now

D: how have i NOW noticed it?

W: *shrug*

* * *

D: Bruce got another filing cabinet in the office

D: he asked me to label it

D: so i labeled the top, 'top secret'

D: and the bottom, 'bottom secret'

* * *

 **Special Appearance from Roy**

W: we've got a code red

R: what happened

W: gotham academy, taunting

R: who's the monster that hurt our brother

W: Joe Creve. don't know where he lives though

R: I've got it

R: meet you at 920 Lakeview drive in an hour

 ***The Next Day***

D: I don't know if you know or care, but this kid is my Bio class left Gotham Academy for 'some' reason and won't be coming back for awhile.

D: ...

D: Thanks guys

W: anything for you

R: brothers are here for a reason

D: I think I have dust in my eyes

* * *

D: I'm going to sleep. don't bother me

 ***10 minutes later***

W: im bored

W: im bored

W: im bored

W: im bored

W: im bored

W: im bored

W: im bored

D: guess what!

W: what!

D: i've got a knife

W: don't bother calling, texting, or visiting me. I have a coincidental dentist appointment!

D: I hope that dentist rips your tongue out

* * *

D: Hello

W: FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIDEE

D: seriously?!

* * *

W: you still coming over for dinner right

D: yeah

W: what do you want?

D: spagetti flavored cake

W: wth?

D: lasagna. i want lasagna

W: you should have just said so

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

W: Gotham's Dark Knight had a cave, e-i-e-i-o

W: and in that cave, he had a, ROBIN! e-i-e-i-o

D: you better not say he went tweet tweet tweet

W: E-I-E-I-O!

* * *

W: remember the demon cat

D: how could I not

W: well I read online that one way of facing your fear is to make it your friend. So maybe we should name it

D: we shall name it Damian.

W: smart, Damian does mean 'to tame'. we are going to tame the cat

D: huh, sorry. My phone autocorrected to Damian. I wrote demon

W: I feel like your offending many Damian's out there

D: I don't think so. Damian sounds like more of a demons name to me.

D: trust me. One day I'll meet a Damian and that last thing he'll be will be tame

W: if this falls to be true in the next ten years, then I will never question your judgement again

D: then bet on.

 **(A/N: Years later, when Nightwing meets Damian, he remembers this conversation. He calls up Wally that night and we can now say the Wally has $500 less then what he had before he went to bed. )**

* * *

D: I just drank a Sprite

W: good for you

D: it made me feel bubbly and warm inside

W: thats good?

W: are you okay? where are u?

D: Its SO FizZY

D: POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP

W: omg, I'm calling Bruce don't move

D: the sprite makes me HAPPYYYYYYYY happy birthday to you happy birthday birthday happy you too yay happy birthday!

W: thats not how the song goes?!

W: Wth? what sprite did you drink?!

* * *

W: I need $20 like right now, its an emergency

D: sure, you'll get it when you give me back the $54 you've already taken

W: right now?! please i'll pay you back some other time I really need it!

D: In that case fine. But in doing so, you will owe me $74. And you say some other time. So I will put your word to it. As I know you don't have a job, you most likely will in about five years time. Though I can't wait five years for it, I will have to add an interest rate that you will have to pay to me. If my calculations are correct, By the end of that year, you will owe me $435.72 . And I know that the economy can drop and raise so I will shave off $300 and as you are my brother and family sticks by, I will take back $35.72. And $26 will probably be spent on nonsense so I will go ahead and take that back. Which means that by the end of that year I will need $74000.

W: sure whatever I don't see anything wrong with it

 ***Hours later, this text arrives***

W: Dick, this is Barry

W: Wally has hired me as his lawyer and saying that this was never legalized on any government document, you cannot make him pay. But as a fine for interrupting your services: I, Barry Allen, will pay the total fee of $74 to you, on the note that you have mercy on my nephew.

D: While I do accept this apology, he put it down as his word. I now have it, and I believe it can not be taken so casually back. This word of his permits that he has promised to do this. And I have not understood what the problem was in the first place, he stated himself that he did not see anything wrong with it.

W: As the lawyer, you must look from my perspective and understand that this is a minor, who does not think and is very reckless. He is willing to give up his income: his allowance, which brings me to offer you the fee of $92.

D: Hmmmm. I will need time to think upon this act of peace. You will be contacted tomorrow.

 ***After a restless night, the decision has arrived from the jury***

D: I have thought and agreed to your terms. I will not press any charges on Wallace West and in return, you will give me $92. Thank you for working with me and this successful case.

W: It has been my pleasure.

* * *

D: orange juice isn't even orange

W: yes it is

D: no its not

W: it is

W: its orange. you need to stop arguing with mother nature

D: i will argue with her until i die

W: your loss. ... its orange

D: SERIOUSLY WALLY POUR OUT THE DUMB JUICE AND LOOOK AT IT

W: OMG FINE!

D: *tapping foot impatiently*

W: ...

D: what?!

W: ...your right

D: I TOLD YOU!

W: how is this 'orange juice'? sure it can from an orange fruit, but like the fruit it should be orange! This is not juice! ITS NOT EVEN ORANGE

D: woah. calm down dude

W: HOW CAN I CALM DOWN ITS NOT ORANGE

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

W: Whats your Newport Revolution?

D: woah. Slow down there. I haven't planned anything on taking over Newport yet. All I've got is Every other country except for Antarctica and Canada.

W: I meant New Year revolution

D: oh.

W: wait. What do you mean every other country but Antarctica and Canada? Why are you planning to overthrow the world?!

D: Well, not Antarctica cause I already own it (amazing at how you can bond with penguins), and not Canada cause Canada's a cool place.

D: Literally.

* * *

W: Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have the absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn't exist, and there's only an absence of love.

D: Reading the last Harry Potter book at this very moment.

D: Dang it! WHY!

W: ...

W: always...

 **(A/N: The first thing Wally just said does not belong to me, just saying.)**

* * *

W: Quick! HOW DO YOU CUT YOUR SANDWHICHES?!

D: Vertically?

W: NOOOOOOOOOOO

W: I HAD FAITH IN YOU AND YOU BETRAYED OUR FRIENDSHIP LIKE THIS!

D: wally

D: wally?

D: are you there?

* * *

D: I decided to take the bus today. The kids in the back are singing nursery rhymes.

D: they're actually not half bad

D: Only so much time will pass before someone sings 'let it go'

D: great, they're taking requests

W: have they sung wheels-on-the-bus. Its only right that when singing nursery rhymes in the back of a bus, you sing wheel-on-the-bus.

D: ha, i'll tell them

D: they did it

W: yes!

D: SRSLY now, they're singing let it go!

D: geez! people, its been three years

W: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THREE YEARS?!

 **(A/N: *Wipes away tear.* Time has gone by so fast...)**

* * *

D: In geography, this girl and guy were taking when it got to the point of the girl saying, "whatever floats your boat." Another guy sitting near them , stands up and points at the girl, screaming (and the teacher and the others in the room are looking like what the heck) "NO! NOT WHAT FLOATS YOUR BOAT! SINK THAT BOAT! SINK IT! LET YOU DROWN THE WATERS OF YOUR FAILURE AND DIE! SINK THE BOAT BEFORE IT LEAVES THE HARBOR!"

D: And then another guy near the screamer gets up as well and screams, "YAEH! DIE BECAUSE OF YOUR BAD BOATMANSHIP SKILLS! PLUNGE LIKE THAT TITANIC AND NEVER RAISE FOR AIR AGAIN!"

D: and now at this point the class is divided, some people tugging the guys arm to 'save' him from 'drowning' and the other half is 'trying' to 'drown' him.

D: The teacher started playing 'my heart will go on' and 'a thousand years'. Everyone is frozen, and collapsing on the floor crying. I'm gonna join them. Gosh, the teacher joined us.

D: LOL. Barbra walked in late, and she just walked out, saying "not today".

W: ... and your school is supposed to be for the 'high and mighty'

W: did the guy drown or what?

D: i don't know, but I'm saying he drowned and just woke up in the hospital a couple of days later.

W: wow. deep.

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/10/18**

 **I've published the first six chapters today, and will most likely finish posting the others by the end of this week. I hope what you've already read was worth a moment of your time. Thank you again for taking a couple minutes off of your schedule to read this!**

 **-OnlyEscape**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

R: I'm taking a thirty minute nap

R: don't bother me

 ***35 Minutes Later***

R: Dick. Wally. I know your reading this and I want you to reply.

D: I'm here

W: yeah?

R: I took a nap.

R: I come out of my room to eat. I go to the kitchen. My cabinet, which had my Ritz crackers, is filled to the top with cans of soup. I check all of the other cabinets, drawers, and the refrigerator. It is all filled with soup cans. I check the one drawer I have yet to do so and it just so happens to be my utensil drawer. There is a single fork with a smiley face on it.

R: explain.

W: It wasn't me!

W: You can ask uncle Barry!

D: ...

W: dick?

D: ...

W: ?

D: roy...

R: yes.

D: You have really good ritz crackers

R: GIVE ME MY CRACKERS! YOU *roy's got a very long range of 'language' so I'll put this instead. But I'm sure you can use you imagination.* PRETTY PRINCESS RIDING ON A FLUFFY UNICORN. MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH THE SPARKLES OF ETERNAL LIFE. *going back to normal now* DONT YOU EVERY TOUCH MY CRACKERS AGAIN!

W: you did all that in thirty minutes?

W: and you bought all that soup?

W: i swear bruce is giving you to much of an allowance.

D: whatever. you wanna drink soup with me?

W: YUP!

D: roy?

R: no. thank you.

D: k

D: roy?

R: yes.?

D: don't check your hallway closet

R: I WILL MURDER YOU YOUR SUCH A *I'm to lazy to write threats so once again use your imagination*

* * *

W: I got a test tomorrow

W: BUT I'm not going to take that test

W: I hATE THAT TEST

W: ID RATHER DRINK BLEACH WITH RAZOR BLADES IN IT

D: woah. lets take some deep breaths

* * *

D: Who built king Arthur's round table?

D: Sir Cumference

W: get out

D: but...

W: no. You've already done to much damage

* * *

D: WALLLYYYYYY

D: alfred bought me glitter glue

W: what dangerous and deadly idea do you have now? because I'm not getting in trouble with you again this week.

D: sheesh. Why do you asume I have ulterior motives? I just wanted to make paper angels.

D: I know someone who won't be getting a paper angel with red and gold glitter glue.

* * *

W: listen. this happened in class, right.

W: the class has desks on the left and right of the room. One the first day, everyone sat on the left. Literally no one went to the right. So after a few weeks, we decided to sit on the opposite side and pretend we were the rebellion.

W: So everyone went to the other side except for one girl who didn't want to. So, the teacher came in to see everyone on the right and the one girl on the left.

D: bro. Does that not make HER the rebellion

D: she's rebelling against rebelling

D: and if everyone went on the other side but someone stayed there... THEY would be rebelling

W: ... is this all thats left of the circle of life?

 **(A/N: This was a serious discussion and problem we had in math.)**

* * *

W: I hate eating seconds

W: its so time consuming

D: *blinks rapidly* b-but-but-...but...

* * *

D: shout out to all the people who don't know the opposite of in

W: what

W: oh

W: ohhhhhhh

* * *

D: IM A GENUIS

W: what?!

D: damian, demon, whatever. REMEMBER THE CAT

W: yes?

D: Wait for it... we should lift it in the air like the Lion King

W: but its suicide...nvm, I GOT A PLAN

W: i'll come in from the front, you grab it from behind

D: roger that

* * *

W: im gonna stand outside, so if anyone asks, I'm outstanding

D: *sends pic of a moose*

D: that was amoosing

W: ...dang it!

D: I WIN!

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **This is going to be a short chapter, so apologies.**

* * *

D: I heard that he was sent to prison and she left to live with her mother.

W: where'd u hear that?

D: I heard it from this kid in 2nd period who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's older sister in college, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's uncle that lived 30 miles from them, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, that heard from the table behind him at McDonalds.

W: so you trust them?

D: What? No, Of course not! The people behind the table had a cousin who lived even closer there, and they knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, that was their NEIGHBOR.

D: can u believe that guy?

W: no because I heard something different

D: what'd u hear?

W: I heard that SHE was the one that called the cops but he found out, so he left the COUNTRY.

D: no! who told you that?!

W: I heard this from this girl who was talking about it on the phone, where she had heard it from this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy that WORKED at that VERY prison, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy that had this mini operation for sneaking over the border, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, that actually saw the guy at Walmart.

D: wow

W: you know what learned I from this conversation

D: gossip is really messed up

W: that and if you say whoknewthisguy quickly, it kinds sounds like a name.

D: oh. that too.

 **(A/N: This was a random conversation that me and my sister suddenly had. There really was no gossip, we were just joking around saying 'who knew this guy' when inspiration struck and she noticed that it sounded like a name.)**

* * *

W: a little kid walked up to me and ask d if my freckles were real. He started to poke my face and he walked away

W: he reminds me of you

D: annoying and curious, Two of my very best qualities!

* * *

D: go to the corner of Holly and Cornell street

W: why

D: there's a group of friends wearing a shirt that says life

D: there asking if people wants lemons and if they try to walk away, they throw em

W: TALK THEM INTO LETTING US WORK WITH THEM AND OPEN A LEMONADE STAND NEXT TO EM. WE CAN TURN THE LEMONS THAT THEY GAVE OUT INTO LEMONADE FOR THE PEOPLE

D: We're freakin entrepreneurs $7 a CUP

* * *

W: it's going down, I'm yelling

D: ICEBERG

W: why?!

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

W: taking buzzfeed quizzes

W: what's your sixth sense

D: my sixth sense?

D: ...

D: common sense

* * *

D: what cannot talk but will always respond when spoken to?

W: ...siri?

D: no dude, its an echo

 **(A/N: Thanks to my sister who, when first hearing the riddle, blurted out SIRI!?)**

* * *

W: so did you ask?

D: bruce said no

D: I don't even know why?! its not that hard to take care of one

D: I mean I said id be responsible and give it water and look over it and stuff

W: sometimes its in the presentation. what was your opening

D: "Bruce, I want a cactus."

W: ok. you see, theres your problem.

W: you didn't say please. And next time, make a powerpoint. Powerpoints with transitions always seal the deal.

W: ALWAYS

* * *

D: stop it

R: stop what?

W: yeah what

D: you know what I'm talking about

R: nope

W: ?

D: STOP TELLING GIRLS YOU HAVE A RICH FRIEND AND SHOWING THEM MY PICTURE

D: ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE GUYS

* * *

W: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

W: azqswxcderfvbtghnymujkilop

W: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

W: waszxqrefdvcbghtnymukloipj

W: adsfghkljpoiquwyrtemznxbcv

D: stop

* * *

D: dude come the Mountain quick

W: why?

D: kaldur is making the most hilariously serious speech on the inaccuracy of Ariel The Little Mermaid

* * *

W: Roy can you take us to Taco Bell

R: no

W: why not

R: because I'm busy

W: it's an emergency

W: we are gonna die of starvation we don't go. And we don't want you to explain why I'm dead to uncle Barry

R: it's still no

D: then you'll have to explain why I'm dead to Bruce

R: you guys want chalupas or burritos I'm outside

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Once again, a short chapter. As I upload these past chapters from Wattpad onto this platform, I realise I have random short chaoters in-between long ones. So, sorry ahead of time.**

* * *

D: I hate getting fingerprints on tape

W: use your thumbs so you only get thumbprints

D: dude no

* * *

W: I'm home alone this is great

D: perfect time for a murderer

W: hah ha very funny, but I'm not scared

D: yeah well have fun with that

 ***One hour later***

W: dude come here now I heard a noise I'm going to die I don't wanna die oh my god

D: bro.

* * *

R: don't let Wally go to Walmart to get you something

D: why not

R: because he's gonna come home with a coffee, multiple coupons, a nickel off the street, and two phone numbers from the girls he probably found while getting coffee

R: and through all that does he get me my fruit roll up? No.

D: lol

R: I just want my freakin' fruit roll up

* * *

D: your pretty

D: pretty ugly

W: your funny

W: funny looking

* * *

W: BRO I heard you were the judge at a court case today?!

W: since when are you a judge?!

D: *sends photo of online certificate*

D: well according to this... since 8:57 last night

* * *

W: where's mt. Rushmore

D: in one of the Dakotas I think

W: hold on THERES MORE THAN ONE?

* * *

W: I though you were gonna meet me at 11

D: nah sorry. Bruce and I are grounded

W: ... what...no why... no no no hold up... who?

D: Alfred

W: what did the two of you do?

D: Bruce agreed to play spy with me so I gave him a walkie talkie and long story short Alfred caught us both trying to steal his feather duster and I yelled at Bruce THE BRITSH ARE COMING THE BRITSH ARE COMING

D: so yeah. Alfred grounded us

W: lol Alfred is the best

D: heck yeah he is

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

* * *

D: hey I'm bored

D: what are you up to

W: For the past hour I've been calling in sick to places I don't even work at

D: move over it's my turn

* * *

W: art is so boring

W: who cares about drawing two point perspective

W: I already know the color wheel

W: why is it suddenly violet why not keep it purple

W: everyone are liars here

W: why is everyone so good at drawing hands

W: noses are just triangles

W: ewwww there's gum under the desk

W: why do I need to know any of this

W: unless this gonna be on the college exams

W: this is worthless

D: question in the SAT: on march 8, in your art class in 10th grade what did you learn about the science of chemically changing and combining two natural colors created by the various wavelengths of visable light into a new chemical compound?

W: ...

W: blue+red=violet

D: give this kid his diploma

* * *

W: let's play Rock Paper Scissors

D: no. How? that won't even work

W: pllleeeaaasssseee

D: fine

W: okie Rock Paper Scissors shoot

W: what did you get

D: no you tell me what you got

W: ahhhhhh

W: I can now see how this may be a problem

 **(A/N: To a friend who insisted to play Rock Paper Scissors over the phone with me. Unfortunetly, it took them a bit longer than Wally to figure out the problem.)**

* * *

D: SHUT UP ALREADY OKAY SHEESH YOU GUYS ARE SO CLOSED MINDED OMG

D: WHY CANT YOU GUYS ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THE 'G' IS SILENT ALL OF YOU ARE HEARTLESS

W: ...

R: sorry

D: IM LEAVING

W: ...what?

R: I don't even know anymore

* * *

D: If a two year old hands you a toy phone

D: should you answer it?

W: no, it could be a telemarketer

* * *

R: and thats the story of how I crashed my first car

W: ...

D: There's is someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist

R: ha look who's talking

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

W: teacher: "Ten more minutes and then turn in your math paper here."

D: class: *mathing intensifies*

* * *

W: you know how you say a word and you know Halfway through that your saying it wrong but you think

W: I've gone this far, might as well keep going

D: and the moral of the story is?

W: instead of telling Megan that She's telepathic, I called her tele-pathetic

D: bro... your skills amaze me

 **(A/N: A.K.A In which I make the exact mistake Wally has made.)**

* * *

R: :)

R: you know what I really hate

W: the world

D: yourself

R: PEOPLE WHO DONT USE THEIR GOSH DANG TURN SIGNALS

W: ...road rage...

D: wait. Are you texting us while your driving right now

R: :)

* * *

W: how long did the Hundred Years' War last

D: seriously?

W: 116 years

D: wait what

W: what color is a purple finch

D: ... purple...

W: crimson

W: what color is the black box on a commercial airplane

D: hold on I'm not past the first one

W: its orange

W: what moth is the Russian October revolution

W: November

D: I hate you

* * *

W: hey what's up

D: Sorry Wally. This is Bruce. Richard is grounded for the weekend and won't have access to his phone.

W: okay it's fine. But you only ever call him Richard when he's in real trouble ?

D: He put the transformers symbol on the batmobile.

D: *sends photo*

D: I actually kinda like it

W: then why is he grounded

D: Because Alfred says that I can't reward him for reckless behavior.

W: lol okay tell him I said hi

W: See you later Bruce

D: Bye

* * *

D: Wally the popcorn lied

D: it said it was instant

D: it's been three minutes

W: I APOLOGIZE THAT KING RICHARD OVER HERE IS HAVING TO WAIT SUCH A PRECIOUS LONG TIME WHILE IM STANDING AT THE BUS STOP IN THE RAIN FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES CAUSE ITS LATE

W: AND IM HUNGRY

D: -ding- that was my popcorn bye

D: ohhh it's the buttery kind too

* * *

W: had I known that meeting you would have led too being the dumbest mistake of my life

W: I would do it again cause scientifically you need to repeat a process multiple times to achieve accurate data

D: that's nice of you to say

D: how much money do want

W: i need 50 bucks

D: in that case i want a refund on our friendship

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

* * *

W: memories are playing coolmath and poptropica when the teacher let us in elementary school

D: memories are hacking into the intercom at random government buildings making them think it's haunted in elementary school

W: you sound fun

* * *

R: stop following me

R: and especially throwing paper hearts at me

R: no I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE YOUR LOVE

R: KEEP THOSE FILTHY VILE RED BLUDGERS AWAY FROM ME

D: but bro

W: we love you

* * *

D: seriously get a grip on life bro

W: but I have no thumbs

* * *

D: yellow or pink

W: pink why not

 ***10 minutes later***

D: FYI I stocked the med bay with hello kitty, strawberry shortcake, Winnie the Pooh, and pink polka dotted bandaids

W: okay

W: dibs on strawberry shortcake though

D: i'll make sure to tell the rest of the team that

* * *

D: so instead asking why you should fries with that, say

D: WHY DID THE LITTLE OLD LADY SWALLOW THE FLY?

W: dude that comes with job of being a hardcore granny on the back of a motorcycle

D: ...you changed my perspective

* * *

W: dude help!

D: what?

W: I changed the language on uncle Barry's phone to mandarin

D: lol

W: I can't change it back :(

* * *

D: knock knock

R: ~sigh~ who's there?

D: Us

R: us who?

R: this is an awful joke

W: it's not a joke. We've been knocking outside your door for 15 minutes

D: by the way, your neighbor on the right has a very colorful personality

W: and the one in the the left prefers if you turned your music down

W: and the one directly below you wants you to stop stomping around

D: ROY YOUR FAMOUS!

R: you'll shut it if you want to come in

D: or we can keep talking and just go through your window

R: I hate the both of you

* * *

R: it's just 40 more minutes

W: fiinnnneeee

 ***40 minutes later***

W: how long?

R: 40 more minutes

W: 40 MINUTES!

W: YOU SAID THAT 40 MINUTES AGO

W: WHAT THE HECK ROY

* * *

W: I saw the news

W: so how was it being stuck in an ice cave with Harley Quinn for 20 minutes

D: well she decided we should huddle together for warmth "to lengthen our survival time"

D: but I said "ew. No." But she grabbed me from behind and we sat there for the rest of the time with me pouting and with my back to her and her hugging me.

W: oh is that all that happened

D: what were you expecting. don't be gross.

D: she did tell me knock knock jokes though and she asked me what shampoo I used and we talked about which was the better brand. we also talked a bit about gas prices, cause honestly. That thing is a mess.

D: Harley Quinn is kinda cool

D: don't tell Bruce

W: lol sure

D: WHAT THE HECK WALLY BRUCE JUST YELLED FOR ME DOWNSTAIRS

D: IF IM IN TROUBLE I WILL KILL YOU

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

* * *

W: iM DYING

W: one of my younger cousins comes out of nowhere behind me and I say "where did you come from!?" And she's like "from my moms stomach duh"

D: haha well she's not (totally) wrong

* * *

D: I am ready to fight someone if I need to

W: *clears throat and puts hands on hips*

W: now Richard, where are your manners?

D: sorry mom

D: may I have the honor of engaging you in a physical altercation?

* * *

W: I never understood monopoly.

W: It's like saying "hey we're stressed out about real money, so let's play a game and get stressed out about pretend money!

D: it's preparing us for adulthood

W: well screw that

W: im gonna live in a bouncy castle

* * *

D: in the future, imagine how many go-pros will be found on snow mountains containing the last moment of people's lives

W: how many hours of sleep did you get?

D: hours? We're on the note of minutes in double digits man

D: who needs 8 hours when you have a 10 minute nap to save you

* * *

D: ROY

W: BRO WAKE UP

R: whaat he hek guys

R: what the heck guys

R: it's 4 in the morning

D: but it's really important

W: super important

R: ok fine

W ***sends photo of a shade of aqua***

W: I need you to tell me if this is aqua or turquoise

D: it's aqua though right

W: dummy it's turquoise

D: no it's NOT

R: I'm blocking this conversation

D: no don't!

 ***Roy blocks conversation***

D: dang it

W: he didn't even tell us his opinion

D: double dang it

* * *

W: Me, uncle Barry, Cisco, Iris, Joe, and Dr. snow cone are playing monopoly. We're in teams. I'm with Barry, Joe and Cisco, and then the girls

D: I though Caitlin told you to stop calling her that

W: shhhh she doesn't need to know

W: there's a central city piece

W: Caitlin is auctioning it

W: the piece is only worth 2.3million and me and uncle Barry fought over it with Cisco and Joe and we bought it for 8.7million

D: lol bro this is why you have no money

W: but no! Everyone has like over 50million and own like 6 pieces, and me and Barry own 2 with like 4 million dollars

W: uncle Barry leaned over and saw my text and he yelled BUT ITS WORTH IT

 **(A/N: This is another story with my family. My sister and I are the only ones who watch the Flash, so my sister was auctioning it. All my dad knew was that I liked the piece just because of the name and was a pain for me who actually tried to get it. I ended up buying it for 8.7 million. I was broke with everyone else having 50 million dollars. But...it's worth it.)**

* * *

D: why do we need a job

D: being an adult is work enough

D: Bruce agrees with me

D: and you know if Bruce agrees then I am gosh darn right

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/11/18**

 **This was part two of my updating spree. I'm really happy too see everyone already enjoying the first couple chapters. I can't wait to upload the rest for everyone!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

* * *

D: did you get the package

R: yeah, haven't opened it though

D: ok. Open it, but lock your doors and close all the curtains

R: what the heck did you get me?!

R: what the screaming heck?

R: it's a jar of blood

R: why!?

R: where'd you get this?!

R: omg does Bruce know?

R: EXPLAIN NOW

D: okay okay

D: all I'm saying is that it's a gift. When you get pulled over for your, like millionth, speeding ticket, throw some blood on you and say 'you needed to hurry to the hospital' don't answer them if they ask why you hadn't dialed 911

R: omg

R: I don't know whether to thank you or

R: or something

R: You put the mental in sentimental

D: awwwww

D: thank you !

* * *

W: ROYYYY GUESSWHAT

R: no

W: BUT ROY

R: I don't care

W: ITS COOL I PROMISE

R: fine

W: I was watching a documentary on an invention that actually allows you to see through walls!

R: really?

R: that's cool. What is it called

W: 5

W: 4

R: why are you counting

W: until detonation

W: 3

R: detonation of WHAT?

W: 2

W:1

R: ..?

W: THE INVENTION IS CALLED THE WINDOW

R: FREAKING KIDDING ME

R: YOU THINK YOUR SO CLEVER HUH

* * *

W: bro

W: how much do you love me

D: well in a simple way... I love you more than my calculator

W: hearing that from a mathlete makes me feel special

 **(A/N: Nothing is more important than a calculator to a math student. I would know. If you can attend math class without a graphing calculator, you are a brave** person.)

* * *

W: what do lawyers wear to court

W: a lawsuit

W: please don't hate me

* * *

D: parallel lines have so much in common

D: it's really a shame they will never get to meet

W: forbidden love, my new ship

* * *

D: remember when we put bubble mix in the Central City mall fountain

W: yes

W: is this leading to being about the guy who put bubble mix in the water sprinkler system at Walmart

D: yes. Look and Listen. We are the kings of mischief and we can not lose that title.

W: so you have a plan

D: remember that lake near your house

W: yup

D: 34 gallons of bubble soap and a speedboat

W: I'm so honored to call you my best friend

* * *

D: I don't want to be that spoiled stereotype rich kid but

D: how much does a country cost?

W: like a LOT of piggy banks

D: shoot

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

* * *

D: WHEN BRUCE IS ANGRY 99% OF THE TIME ITS LIKE OOPS AND TERRIFYING, BUT THAT OTHER 1% PERCENT IS COMEDY GOLD

W: what'd he say

D: ahem. *clears voice*

D: Out of all the optional doors of life, that could lead you to a happy and successful and dare I say LIVING future... YOU CHOSE TO GO THROUGH A WINDOW OF A 20 STORY BUILDING

D: on my behalf, he should know that I don't like hospitals and am willing to go through any obstacles to get out

W: Bruce is still practicing the parenting thing isn't he

W: tell him I said good try

* * *

D: remember how Bruce wouldn't let me have a pet cactus

W: yes

D: well I have another idea for a pet that doesn't require the actual commitment to help provide one life

W: ?

D: I'm getting a pet roomba

W: gosh dang it Dick

* * *

W: so how's our sick buddy

D: I feel terrible

W: no worries doctor west is in the house

W: ***Sends picture***

D: I feel slightly less terrible

D: thank you

 **(A/N: It was an image of a drawing of a little bird in a mask and a cape, but I can't put photos on . You can see the drawing, though, on Watppad.)**

* * *

W: seeing a spider isn't the problem

W: it becomes a problem when it disappears

W: very much like you

D: *blush* thank you

* * *

W: my uncle just told me that he taught my cousin who was just learning his words to say

W: no taxation without representation

W: imagine a 2 year old screaming that around the house

D: I laughed and Alfred stared at me

D: I think he knows

* * *

W: but how the heck do I do it!?

D: step 1: grow confidence

W: grow!? Are you joking!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST GROW CONFIDENCE

W: please let me water and add freaking sunlight and play freakin Beethoven's fur Elise and moonlight sonata to it

D: yes but I was thinking more Mozart

D: step 2: good luck

W: UGHHHH

* * *

D: okay so a country is like a lot of piggy banks

D: what about a small island

W: like a little less but still a lot of piggy banks

D: I'll just save up

* * *

W: Roy I need your help

R: I'm sorry, you are trying to contact 293-648-0304. The number you are trying to contact is unavailable right now. Please try again later.

W: wth

W: did you just text me the answering machine to your voicemail?

W: Roy this isn't how that works

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	18. Chapter 17: ROY

**Chapter 17: (ROY)**

 **This chapter is going to be really big on Roy, (mainly just because he's the awesome older brother of our favorite idiots :D )**

 **This chapter is dedicated to TurtleWarrior03 (On Wattpad) for coming up with this first text post:**

* * *

D: Wally, I think there has been a robber in the house! A bunch of my snacks are missing! Same with Bruce's!

W: Oh... really? That sucks dude.

D: Wally...

D: Did you get into our house and eat out food?

W: WHAT...PFFT NO! I.. Was.. at Roy's?

R: Wally don't lie to him, You took all his food and brought it to my house.

W: ROY!

D: Wally I suggest you hide, Bruce saw the text! I mean he can buy more... but he's angry that you got into the house and he didn't know.

W: Well Bye!

R: I bet he'll be dead in minutes.

D: I bet seconds.

 **(A/N: Again, credits to TurtleWarrior03 for writing that one! 😄)**

* * *

D: hey guys

R: wth man

R: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HEY GUYS

D: I'm saying hello

W: NO IDIOT YOU DJPULD BE EXPLAINING WHY YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL

D: I could or I could tell you a funny story

R: does it have to do with the hospital?

D: yeah actually

D: anyways after getting a concussion, breathing in a paralyzingly drug , and being shot , I somehow managed to climb up to the top of gothams tallest bridge

W: go on

D: so Bruce finds me and I'm like how did you find me

D: and he says that apparently (I didn't remember this at the time and still don't) I left him a voicemail of where I left my will and funeral plans

R: idiot

D: and then he asks me how the hell I managed to get up here so I said (and I don't remember this part either) but apparently I said DETERMINATION

W: haha I'm in stitches

D: lol so am I

D: literally

R: IDIOT

* * *

R: why

W: why what

R: you know what

D: why are you asking why

R: because you know why

W: what I don't get what you mean by why

R: AGH WHY YOU IDIOTS

R: NEVERMIND

W: you don't think he meant

D: yes. Why

D: did the old lady swallow the fly

* * *

D: just a question but don't you ever get lonely

R: how can I get lonely when the the two of you are blowing up my phone at 4 am?

D: true

 ***4 Days Later***

R: since you guys were so worried that I was lonely I got this:

R: * **sends photo of a dark rock with googly eyes, and a smile drawn on with red sharpie***

R: his name is jimmy

* * *

D: UGH I SWEAR

D: Wally is an absolute idiot

R: 1st of all don't call him an idiot, that's my thing

R: 2nd of all I told you not to trust him with errands

R: and what about the time we sent you to go get ice cream and you came back an hour later with bags of stuffed animals

D: SALES ROY SALES you can't pass off a buy one get one

R: omg, jimmy the rock is literally more reliable then the two you

W: HURTFUL

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

* * *

W: your still coming over right

D: yeah

W: I need you to bring air freshener

D: okay I got you

W: dang it auto correct

W: I meant fire extinguisher

W: please hurry

D: gosh darn it Wally why

* * *

W: hey

 ***2 Hours Later***

D: hey what's up

W: if I wanted to talk two hours later, I would have texted two hours later

* * *

D: so It was a mistake

D: literally it can happen to anyone

W: but you can't make the same mistake like 30 times

D: that's an exaggeration

W: I'm having a flashback right now if you couldn't tell, but if this were a tv show you could totally see it

D: dang

* * *

W: I'm literally in so much trouble right now

W: what do I do

D: why should I care?

D: not my division

W: did you just?

W: NOW IS NOT THE TIME

* * *

W: so me and Aunt iris are driving right, and we pass by a neighborhood

W: and you know how neighborhoods sometimes have those weird signs where you put in letters so the say stuff like some fast food places and schools

D: yeah

W: well this neighborhood sign said: Carpe THE HECK OUT OF THIS Diem

D: Lol I GET IT

W: not only that but a couple weeks before, it said: school starts July 31, resistance is futile

D: im DYING

 **(A/N: These two things are not a joke. A neighborhood I live near had these on their signs, and my sister and I couldn't stop laughing. It's like the person in charge of changing the sign turned to their high school kid and was like 'go put something on it' 'but what?' 'I don't care, anything' 'okie'.)**

* * *

D: SCIENCE BUDDY NERD GUESS WHAT

W: im not a nerd you are, and what?

D: its a math joke I heard in class today

W: tell me

D: Person 1: 'If only there was a formula for making friends'

D: Person 2: 'there is, its called the squadratic formula'

W: lol perfect

W: but on a serious note, where are the teachers at Gotham Academy literally

* * *

W: visiting a friend from school and we're in his bedroom right, so his little sister comes running in, tosses open his SECOND FLOOR window, and attempts to jump out of it

W: my friend pulled her back before she fell and she is hiding in his closet, she looks terrified

W: BRO my friends older sister was playing tag with his younger sister, and she literally was willing to jump out of a window just so she wouldn't be 'it'

D: thats determination

 **(A/N: Not mine, my friend showed me this off of Tumblr, so yup, (though I changed some points around)**

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

* * *

D: did you know hair spray is flammable

W: yeah?!

D: well I wish someone FREAKIN told me that BEFORE

W: what have you done?

* * *

W: my spirit animal is the fish that screams "MY LEG" in spongebob

D: very true

* * *

D: bless you

W: what is this witchcraft!

* * *

D: I'll be on my balcony

D: so theres the tree next to it right

W: yeah, I help you jump over and we'll climb down the tree

D: right and then we leave to go there

R: Once again, Group conversation, And two things, 1st are you guys eloping, and 2nd if its a yes, than I always knew it and send me honeymoon pictures

D: ROY NO HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT

D: WE ARE NOT

W: ... I mean we could

D: WALLY NO

D: literally Bruce is having another charity ball, and Wally was gonna get me out and we were going to go to his house and play Wii sports!

D: NOT ANYTHING ELSE

R: oh its a shame, I thought it was sweet, Wally and you going all Romeo and Juliet

W: ... I mean I could

D: YEAH WELL HE ISN'T!

D: AND WE AREN'T

D: GOSH DARN IT SHUT UP WALLY

R: fine I'm sorry

R: anyways, if the plan is on, you guys can come to my house and can play my WII here

D: okay, thats fine I guess

R: but you also get that someone could take your conversation in a completely different direction

D: yeah

D: but just summing it up, Wally and I are not eloping

R: right

W: ... but we could

 ***Dick has blocked this conversation***

R: LOL

 **(A/N: I don't really ship BirdFlash, but in honesty, I can totally see how and why others would ship them! But on another note, RedAlert98 on has this story 'We're Not A Couple' and I highly suggest for you to read it if you need a good laugh! Or any of their stories really.)**

* * *

D: when are you coming home?

D: never mind Iris and I are going to Walmart, the key is under the 2nd potted plant to the right

W: what, Why are you with her?

D: because Iris and I have a coupon-ing club. We do coupons together is the point, and I have a 2 for $3 on shaving cream and Iris has a buy one get 50% off on any cereal, AND they both expire today

W: I could question it but no

W: hold on, why do you need shaving cream, you don't even shave

D: I know right, but its a COUPON Wally

D: Iris saw your text and she said that you just wouldn't understand if you weren't in the club

W: well thanks

* * *

W: is mayonnaise an instrument

D: anythings an instrument if you can hear music from it, whether its everyone or only you

W: *cokes on tears* thanks bro

* * *

D: so at school, during homeroom we had one of those 'study skills' lessons, and one kid was being really annoying and asked the teacher all these stupid questions, so the teacher made the kid carry a little potted plant that teacher had on his desk, to replace all of the oxygen the kid had wasted

W: 10/10

W: but on another note

W: WHY IS YOU SCHOOL LIKE THIS

D: I DON'T KNOW, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RICH AND SMART, BUT WE REALLY ARE ONLY RICH,

D: except for me and Barbra

D: we is smert

W: yes you is

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

* * *

W: I've wasted so much time today, I'm now wasting overtime

D: stop

* * *

W: be honest, your just jealous of my brilliance

D: *turns off the light*

W: what my brilliance *turns it back on*

D: *turns it off*

W: *on*

D: *off*

W: *on*

D: *flips the switch so much, the entire city goes off*

W: *steals the rest of the country's light*

D: *takes out the sun*

W: NOOOOOOO

D: not today Wally

* * *

D: like what should I be

D: I could be a doctor

D: or a lawyer

D: or I could a forensic scientist like barry

D: or I could be bruce and have this company and be all smart, but I really kinda don't want to talk to people in suits and are wearing the entire perfume section at Macy's

D: I could be a police officer, but I don't think so because I already do the Robin thing

D: I could be a acrobat but THATS TO MUCH

D: I could be a teacher but I can't stand you and your lucky when I say this right now, but your actually NOT the most annoying person I know (surprise right)

D: I mean I could be an artist but I can't draw a circle

D: I could be an chemist, but I'm to much of a pyromanic for that

D: I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

D: im gonna grow up I NEED TO DO THINGS ON MY OWN

D: I DONT NEED OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS

D: I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS

D: thats it I'm gonna lock myself in my room until I figure this out

D: oh Alfred said that it was okay, but I have to come down for dinner at 8 though

W: glad to see you've got your life together

 **(A/N: You sure you don't want to be a police officer? Maybe a secret agent... you know just giving you an idea Dick. (You never know...)**

* * *

D: hey brother - do you still believe in one another

W: hey sister- do you still believe in love I wonder

D: OH IF THE SKY COME FALLING DOWN

W: FOR YOU

R: there is literally nothing that I would do

W: harsh

D: ROY!

* * *

D: so yeah

R: here you are OFF ALL PEOPLE giving me physicatric help

R: like your not even certified

D: actually I hate to break it to you

D: ***sends picture of online psychology degree***

R: I stand corrected

* * *

W: Do you ever wonder that when regular dogs see police dogs, they think "Oh no, it a cop!"?

D: asking the real important questions here

* * *

D: bruce repainted my room, I feel like somethings different somehow

D: but I don't know what

W; every time you paint a room, it gets fractionally smaller

D: well heck

* * *

W: astronemers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day

R: gosh darn it

R: I hope your proud

* * *

D: sometimes I feel like Bruce just can't handle me

D: I went to him and told him that I 'turned on the dark' and he said 'no you turned off the lights'

D: "Did I Bruce, did I R-E-A-L-L-Y?"

W: I pray for anyone that hasn't met you

W: "and may all other souls stay fortunate to never meet this one"

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

* * *

D: I hate it when teachers say there is no 'i' in team

D: but or some unknown reason they forget that there is an 'm' and 'e'

W: THANK YOU

* * *

W: THEY GREATEST AND MOST TERRIFYING THING JUST HAPPENED

W: so I had this idea, but it was like a bad idea I guess, so you know how you have that voice in your head thats supposed to keep you from doing something stupid

W: it was literally your voice, using that annoying sarcastic voice, being all like "don't be stupid. you know thats not gonna work. but if your gonna do it, use more fireworks idiot"

D: I have taken control of your soul and subconsciousness, my plan is working

D: on a different note, I don't know your idea, but you should definitely use more fireworks

W: thanks

* * *

D: there are some things that even the best of friends shouldn't do

D: AND THAT IS TO EAT THE OTHER PERSONS CEREAL

W: look the little hedgehog is angry

D: YOU STOLE MY CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH

W: and it was delicious

* * *

R: ***sends picture***

W: lol why is he surround by paper cranes and paper boats and wearing a paper hat

R: literally I don't know

R: I leave him with paper and leave the room for a minute and I come back and he's like

R: "I swear. It just sorta happened."

W: how does that just sorta happen

R: you tell me!?

* * *

D: why does everyone want to kidnap Richard Grayson

R: I have a list under my bed, would you like me to go get it?

D: thanks Roy

* * *

W: you know what I like

W: when laminated paper does the thing

D: you mean

D: fwuuubwubuffuubdefuuuuwuuubFUBBWUUUUUBWUUUFWWUUBEB

W: yeah that thing

W: I like it when laminated paper does that

D: yeah me too

* * *

R: I freaking hate Oliver so much

W: oh boy

D: here it comes

R: he was literally always telling me what to do

R: literally even now

R: does he not understand freaking 'no, leave me alone'?

R: im gonna spite him

R: he never let me buy a whole cake

R: im gonna buy it and eat it all

R: well heck this is a lot

R: I swear the cake wasn't this big

R: where is all of this coming from?!

D: are you going to admit your wrong and Oliver was right

R: heck no

R: you guys want cake

W: we're already halfway there

D: yeah. see you in 5

* * *

W: Iris and I went to the mall

W: we're looking at makeup

W: what the heck is this

W: the eye shadow is literally on sale

W: but the sale price is 50?

W: why would you buy this

W: I could have 50 cheeseburgers.

D: lol don't worry, tell iris she can borrow my stuff but I don't think my foundation will match hers

W: ...

W: so many questions

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/13/18**


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

* * *

W: I just heard someone call Wonder Woman not that impressive

D: justsortofimpressive woman

W: yeah but the woman part is a bit misleading

D: justsortofimpressive person

W: yeah but could you sorta just take it down another notch

D: justsortofimpressive anyotherpersonnotofthemalegender

W: yeah that's great

D: lol we cant tell Diana

* * *

W: dude help

W: test my flirts

D: fine

W: are you a highlighter because you light up my day

D: not bad

W: are you tape because you can stick with me

D: no

W: my hand got caught in my door, could you hold it so I know if there's feeling

D: that's crafty. nice

W: that's all I have

D: here's one

D: are you my homework, because I want to avoid you

W: -sigh-

* * *

W: quick

W: dealing with an idiot

W: whats a nice way of saying "I really want to hit you in the face with a brick a million times"

R: One absolutely wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls

D: relentlessly and repeatedly

W: omg thanks guys

* * *

D: dude hurry

D: come if convenient

D: come if inconvenient

W: should I bring Scotland Yard with me

D: no, Lestrade will lower the rooms IQ and it's already gonna be low with you there

W: wow I see how it is

* * *

D: can I ask you a hypothetical question

W: yeah sure pal

D: if I buy an island, and decide to create a fully functioning government what should it be

W: I don't care but I'm gonna be your right hand man

D: of course was there any competition

W: awwww

* * *

W: so I am with Roy at Walmart

D: okay

W: and he's a bit 'out of it'

D: oh

D: send me a video and pictures

W: already got 10

W: oh he saw me texting he wanted me to ask you if cantaloupes and melons were confusing

D: tell him yes every time

W: omg he was really quiet and the he screamed THANK YOU ITS NOT JUST ME and a dad with his son were about to walk into the aisle and I could see the dads face go nope

D: lol stop texting me and take more videos

* * *

R: so do you two idiots want to tell me where you are

W: at the hospital

R: you wanna tell me why your at the hospital

D: we have a concussion

R: you wanna tell me why you have a concussion

W: we did something stupid

R: You guys are currently in the hospital because you have a concussion from doing something stupid

R: WHICH I THINK I AM OBLIGATED TO ADD

R: I FREAKIN TOLD YOU BOTH NOT TO DO IT YET WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO? YOU DO IT! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!

W: or worse

W: expelled

R: SHUT UP WALLACE WEST

D: full names being spoken here

R: don't think your off the hook Richard Grayson

D: sorry

W: yeah sorry

R: what am I going to do with you guys

D: break us out of the hospital

W: bring us taco bell

W: wow oh, we have different ideas

D: yeah, well I mean?

R: huh, I'll do both. I'll break you out, and well go to Taco Bell for lunch

W: YAY

D: thanks ROY!

R: shut up you parasites

* * *

W: I'm going to go visit star labs and Cisco and Caitlin later today

W: have you seen my star labs sweatshirt

D: ...

D: it makes a comfy sleeping shirt

W: lol I should have known

D: you can pick it up at the mountain before you go

W: okay thats fine

W: night

D: yeah night

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

* * *

D: just put it on my schedule

W: according to your schedule, you don't have time

D: then just kick something out I guess

W: how about Tuesday evening: color code my ties, Alfred's ties, and bruce's ties?

D: no thats important

W: okay. Wednesday evening: buy rainbow goldfish

W: why?

D: because right after, Bruce has a company meeting and I'm going to be at there. So while he's inside talking about polynomial functions and quadratics, I'm going to play poker with Saha, Anthony, Gabby, and Marco (Bruce's desk receptionists) I need the goldfish to bet because Bruce warned them that they can't play with money or I'll make them bankrupt. Also we needed snacks.

W: so... important

D: kinda, yeah

W: hmm. Thursday night: study for Spanish test

D: yeah take that off my calendar. I don't even know why that's there

W: ...dude

D: priorities.

* * *

W: my AP bio teacher just quit, because she was going through her mid life crisis

D: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.

W: fun

* * *

R: OMG

D: DUDE YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT

R: THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE

W: what happened?

D: so im staying over the weekend at Roy's right. And roy's neighbors dog died. So roy being the thoughtful guy he is, (and she offered him $20) agreed to take the dog's body to vet's, who'll bury him.

R: so I put the dog in one of my old suitcases. and Dick and I decided to go on the subway. So were waiting for the subway when this shady dude comes walking and asks us "what's in the suitcase?"

D: and I felt bad for saying a dead dog, so I said "just a couple of important stuff"

R: and I so very thoughtfully elaborated by saying "you know like a laptop and some super important documents"

D: and HE FREAKING RUNS

R: he grabs the suitcase from my hands and he runs out of the station just AKJBDKJVCIS

W: haha I'm dying!

R: on the bright side I still have the $20 she gave me

* * *

W: has anyone ever told you how extra you are?

D: yeah, extra smart

D: *puts on sunglasses*

* * *

W: I mean we could just get balloons

D: how are we supposed to sneak balloons into his apartment? under our shirts?

W: no we don't blow them up. you take Roy into another room or something, and I'll go in the bathroom and I'll blow them up

D: ohhhhh

D: yeah that makes sense

W: also make sure to get cupcakes

D: yeah chocolate or vanilla

W: chocolate

W: anymore questions?

D: nope

W: so the plan: roys-epic-birthday-extravaganza is a go

* * *

D: so I heard your grounded.

D: how did that happen?

W: I may have started another accidental chemical fire with my chemistry kit

W: and possibly burned one pair of Iris's boots

D: ...were they the short brown ones with the black fuzzies

W: ...yeah

D: I'm surprised you just grounded, I'm sure she would have killed you

W: yeah me too

W: but I live today, so I can make another bigger mistake tomorrow

* * *

W: I need you help!

D: with what

W: so you know the old kiddie pool I have in my backyard. I don't want to alarm you but

W: *sends picture of multiple tadpoles in kiddie pool*

D: dude what the heck

W: you can't tell mom and dad or anyone

W: I'm gonna raise them into healthy froggies

D: can I help name them?

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

* * *

D: I lost my shoes

W: aren't you at school right now

D: that's why it's so concerning

* * *

W: so who wants to break into my school

D: whyyy

W: i lost my phone. I've been looking for it everywhere

D: so you want me to come break in to help you find your phone back

W: yes

D: what are texting me on right now

W: my phone

W: oh

W: OH SHOOT

* * *

D: I love how I can tell you ridiculously long math formulas and write multiple page proofs and write entire papers for math theories

D: but dear god you ask me to add 8+8 and I'll just look at you for really long time and just answer stupidly with like ...Russia or Mercury?

W: the struggle of a super smart person

* * *

D: I know where you were last night

W: where?

D: *Sends a picture of trash on the side of the road*

D: stop loitering Wally

W: okay so screw You

* * *

W: my to do list:

W: to do

W: to do

W: to do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo, dododododo

D: stahp

* * *

R: the true heroes are the kids who could go over 100 during the pacer tests

D: shhh

W: do not speak of the what cannot be named

* * *

R: so I'm going to kidnap you guys Saturday morning and you're gonna be my hostages until Sunday morning

R: okay

D: can we make it Friday after school

R: yeah sure

W: im packed and ready to go

* * *

W: whats your amazon account?

D: why?

W: I wanna order my own microwave for experiments

D: ok cool, so its

* * *

D: whats you amazon account

W: why do you need mine. your rich?

D: yeah but my browse history is gonna concern bruce if it shows me trying to buy a baby alligator

W: okay that makes sense. you can use mine. Its

* * *

D: I need to go to sleep

W: then go to sleep

D: but I can't

D: the internet

D: it calls

* * *

D: Alfred is amazing

W: I already know that

D: dude but no.

D: he can sing

D: ...opra

W: I wanna see that

* * *

D: I thought I told you to stop showing girls my picture and telling them you have a rich friend

R: you did

R: but we didn't care

W: you're just jealous

D: I'm not jealous

D: if a girl is gonna date me, they better be smart and propose to me with a biologically engineered real-life breathing dragon created with the DNA of penguins, cats, and a wizard

W: ...give me a month. I'll see what I can do

R: ...I will help

D: GO AWAY BOTH OF YOU

D: AND I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU ROY

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

* * *

D: procrastinators unite... tomorrow

W: can we make it next week

W: I don't really feel like it

* * *

W: Roy told me you have an online psychology degree

R: and Wally said you're also a certified judge

W: how many online degrees do you have?

D: ***sends picture of dentist, astronomer, cardiologist, archeologist, and baker***

R: 1st of all: I'm not letting you near my teeth

R: 2nd: ok I'm fine with you being an astronomer

D: I follow the moon and suns to find out your death dates

R: cool. tell me when you figure it out

W: 3rd: your not doing something to someone's heart

R: 4th: digging up bones?

D: so I can find dinosaur DNA and create an army of bioengineered reptiles

W: ok

W: and baker? Do you need a degree for that?

D: no it just makes me feel official

R: ok

W: ok

R: you shouldn't be able to get all this online though.

D: I know right

D: I'm thinking about getting my driver's license online right now

R: no stop

W: yes do it

* * *

D: chances of us getting caught are like 120%

W: No worries. Everything is going to be fine.

D: If Bruce has to pick me up from the police station AGAIN, then you can explain for the both of us.

* * *

W: *breaks law*

W: *duct tapes it back together*

* * *

W: your the worst friend ever. honestly

D: I may be a really bad friend

D: but I'm your really bad friend

W: fiiinnneee.

W: I'll just have to keep you.

* * *

D: sometimes I feel like "sleep is for the weak"

D: but then other times I feel like "sleep is for the week"

W: same

* * *

D: ***sends a photo of the Wayne manor ballroom, the perspective is high looking down***

D: Bruce finished renovating the ballroom

W: is it just me but why does it look like the ballroom from beauty and the beast?

D: I'm a Disney kid and Bruce said I could pick the style

W: but you realize what we have to do right

D: ...

D: yes

* * *

D: ROY

R: yup

D: how are you feeling about wearing a yellow ball gown?

R: no I know what your thinking

D: how about gold?

R: better

D: ballroom at Wayne Manor at 6. see ya there

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	27. Chapter 26: ROY EXTRAVAGANZA

**Chapter 26 (ROY EXTRAVAGANZA)**

* * *

R: You guys give me butterflies every time I see you

D: awwww

W: im blushing

R: ***picture of a cage with almost 10 butterflies flying around***

R: no seriously what do I do with them

* * *

R: The fact that i am considered an adult is hilarious and terrifying

W: one man should not be given so much power

* * *

W: 99 BOTTLES OF MILK ON THE WALL

D: 99 BOTTLES OF MILK

W: TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND

D: YOU HAVE 98 BOTTLES OF MILK ON THE WALL

 ***98 bottles of milk over text later***

D: YOU HAVE ZERO BOTTLES OF MILK ON THE WALL

R: Do you take requests?

W: YUP

R: please stop

* * *

R: guys my apartment complex is having a Halloween decoration contest

R: who wants to help? The theme is mystery

D: me

R: no not you. Wally can help.

D: but why

R: my land lady fainted because of you last year

D: the theme was haunted. What better than a ghost kid

R: a ghost kid that hacked into everything in the building, and chanted things from outside everyone's windows? Yeah no

D: no fun all of you

* * *

W: Roy come here

R: what. why? I wanna sleep.

W: home alone. There's a spider in the other side of my room. Help me

R: just catch it with a cup

W: okay

W: OH MY GOD ROY THE SPIDER IS MOTHER AND SHES GIVING BIRTH UNDER THE CUP. WHAT DO I DO.

W: THERES LIKE A MILLION SPIDER BABIES. MAKE THEM GO AWAY. IM CRYING

R: shut up. Breathe. Give me five minutes.

R: i'll be there soon

* * *

D: Roy you took AP human geography right?

R: yup

D: help?

R: sure buddy.

* * *

R: this calls for a celebration!

W: how is getting your 50th speeding ticket a cause for celebration?

R: shut up or no cake

W: ...I want cake

D: I'll bring it then. What's your favorite flavor

R: more

D: what?

W: obviously he just doesn't understand Roy. Dick, his favorite flavor of cake is more. Aka the flavor doesn't matter as long as you've got us a 4 tier cake with enough sprinkles that make heaven jealous

D: yes sir

* * *

W: hey Roy, where are you

R: what do you mean

W: you said you would help me rake the leaves

W: what, don't tell me your lazy

R: laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her

W: wth.

W: nevermind. I'm not even mad anymore. That was great.

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

* * *

D: dude wake up

D: Wally

D: WALLY

D: I NEED YOU TO REPLY

W: what's going on at freaking 4am

D: I need to confess something

W: once again, but 'at 4am'

D: please? It's super important

W: okay. What's going on?

D: first you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone.

W: yeah I promise. Is everything okay?

W: should I get Bruce or Barry, maybe Roy?

D: no no. But read carefully

D: June 12 at 11:34, four years ago, at Gotham Zoo, near the hippo exhibit:

D: I WAS THE ONE WHO FED THEM PIECES OF POPCORN

D: I'M SO SORRY HARRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SICK

W: ...please

W: please go to sleep

* * *

W: unlock-able can mean that it's able to be unlocked

W: but un-lockable can mean that that's it's not able to be locked

D: woah

* * *

D: are you going to set it on fire?

W: no.

D: why not?

W: I don't make it a habit to set things on fire. One thing leads to another and suddenly I'm an arsonist.

D: ...is that a problem?

W: no, but the law apparently thinks it is.

* * *

W: I HAVE A SUPER COOL SCOOBY DOO FACT!

D: why are you searching up scooby doo facts? Isn't this your gym period? You should be running or something.

W: 1st: I'm always running. Ha ha ha...

W: 2nd: shut up, don't judge

W: BUT: shaggy and scooby always run side by side, right? Scooby's breed is a Great Dane. A great dane's top speed is 30-40 mph. So Shaggy can run the same speed as scooby. Therefore shaggy is like the fastest man alive, beating Usian Bolt who's top speed is 27 mph.

D: ok first, yes thats definitely amazing and a lot more important than exercise

D: 2nd: 'shaggy is like the fastest man alive'

D: dude, you and let alone BARRY WHO CAN TIME TRAVEL, are what I like to think of as fast, but you are more amazed by a fictional character's top speed that may or may not be true?

D: you are absolutely right and I agree with your logic

* * *

W: so I heard Dick come through your window last night at like ten, crying and then collapsed on your couch? Maybe you could explain that?

R: so apparently he's been pretty sleep deprived. And recently while studying at about 8:30ish last night while forcing himself to do math homework, he had his calculator 'die' on him.

R: this was pretty serious for his pretty much dead brain and with Bruce being in Washington until Saturday, he was like 'imma go to Roy'. Then he freaking drove like an hour to my apartment that's on the 3rd floor, crawling through my window, all the while still crying over the death of his calculator.

R: yeah so before he knocked himself out, I promised a funeral, so you plan on making a statement?

W: of course bro. Make sure he gets like 20 hours of sleep.

R: no worries, will do.

* * *

D: I'm going to do it

W: please don't

D: c'mon Wally

D: I WAS BORN READY FOR THIS

W: YEAH. BORN READY TO FAIL

D: THEN FAIL I SHALL BUT I WAS BORN FOR THIS AND I SHALL DO IT

D: TRY TO STOP ME

W: ...

D: Bruce said I can't do it

W: lol

* * *

 **Uploaded: 1/20/18**


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

* * *

D: and that's why we need a duck if we're going to pull this off

W: ...

W: sometimes I wonder if oxygen goes to your brain

* * *

R: just sneak up on him. It's simple.

W: HOW? How do I sneak up on him? He's a ninja!

R: He won't expect it.

W: but...

W: Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

R: Shut up. Do you want my help to get back at Dick for taping you to a wall for three hours or what?

* * *

W: so I heard you and Roy had a fight.

W: I would like to assume that you probably did something.

D: leave me alone.

W: fine.

 ***Wally Switches Over To Roy***

W: so you and Dick had a fight.

W: And he's pretty upset, because I know for a fact that he would get back at you in some way but he's not telling me even though he normally always does so he can relish in the fact that he had overpowered you once again. but not this time?

R: I expected the same, but all he did was splutter a bit, and then he left. So I went to bed and when I woke up, he had come into my apartment and opened all my banannas, so now they're brown and mushy.

W: thats really...passive agressive?

* * *

D: I may be right-handed but I am fully ambidextrous in the art of destruction

W: *you: claps hands* *Antartica explodes*

* * *

W: DUDE

W: WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF J?

D: go to sleep

W: BUT WHAT IF ITS ON MY MIDTERM?

W: I CAN'T FAIL. THIS IS MY FUTURE

D: calm down. get a blanket and wrap it around you

W: done

D: go to your bed

W: okay

D: now snuggle

 ***Seven Hours Later***

W: that actually helped a lot. Thank you

D: no problem

* * *

D: how would I know if an earthquake is happening?

W: a ceiling fan would probably fall on you

D: yeah. that would probably make me think "..oh, an earthquake"

* * *

D: Wally

D: (We normally don't use our roomba, but Alfred's in London again, and while Bruce can't clean to save his life, and though I am pretty decent at it, I can't do an entire mansion.)

D: Anyways, the roomba beat me to a pice of popcorn that I dropped on the floor. This is the war between humans and robots. This is it Wally.

W: *grabs water ballons* I'm ready

D: hold up. the war with robots is starting, and your weapon of choice is water ballons.

W: yeah. Why? What do you want me to do?

W: ...Should I-should I freeze them...

D: HECK YEAH. Let's chuck balloons of ice spheres at robots!

* * *

W: So my ELA teacher is basically done with us, because it appears to become a habit of a few kids to say 'literally' after almost every sentence. So she wanted us to do a project on the severe meaning of 'literally' to show absolute seriousness.

W: so other kids wrote a paper or speech, and a couple even grouped up to make a skit.

W: I, on the other hand, purposely came late to class, slammed the door open, my phone playing my playlist. The teacher stared at me, as was the girl who was in the middle of her speech and the rest of the class.

W: So I say, "LITERALLY THIS IS MY JAM". (because of my playlist playing in the background in case you dont realise it) And I walk in, slam my back pack on the teachers deck, and pull out a jar of jam. And then I yelled. "THIS IS LITERALLY MY JAM. DON'T YOU DARE TRY TOUCHING MY JAM." The class and teacher watched in silence for like five minutes while I got out a bag of bread from my bookbag and a knife.

W: I made myself a jam sandwhich

W: I also got an 'A' if you wanted to know.

D: HAHAHA I can't breathe

* * *

W: stop bothering me

D: not until you tell me what you and roy were planning, I wont stop texting you

W: i'll put on 'don't disturb' and ignore it

D: then I'll call you and you will have to answer me

W: no I just won't answer the phone call, Dick I think you've forgotten how threats work

* * *

 **It's been awhile, but I've returned!**

 **Uploaded: 4/10/18**


	30. Chapter 29: HAPPY HOLIDAYS

**Chapter 29: (HAPPY HOLIDAYS)**

* * *

D: where are you? I've been waiting outside the theatre for almost twenty minutes now.

W:Really sorry dude, I just got back from fight club. But I woke up late as well, so I missed the part about the rules but it was probably nothing important anyways.

D: and you still have a secret identity, how?

* * *

D: doing science fair right now. I have to focus, so don't text me.

 ***10 minutes later***

D: do you ever get that feeling where you're so done with everything, even when you haven't started

W: me, everyday in the morning man.

* * *

W: just checking up on something, but dinosaurs aren't microwaveable, right?

D: yeah?

W: ...

W: I still did it anyways.

D: WALLY

W: I need to use your amazon account to buy another microwave before barry and iris come home

* * *

W: HOW DO YOU WIN EVERY GAME

W: WHAT IS YOUR STRATEGY? YOU SAID YOU DON'T HAVE ONE BUT I'M NOT BUYING IT

D: having no strategy is my strategy

* * *

W: We need a plan

D: please calrify

W: we need a plan of attack

R: I have a plan. ATTACK!

* * *

D: woke up today with a goal in my mind. I wanted to build a little neighboorhood of igloos for penguins

D: Unfortunetly, My heart says yes but Bruce and Alfred say no

W: maybe next winter

* * *

W: Help I burned my hand

D: quick put something cold on it

W: *Places It Over Roy's Heart*

W: much better

R: I have so many things to say to you both

R: be happy that its the holidays

* * *

D: Wayne Enterprises Annual Winter Gala is coming up. This year Bruce decided that the two of us can make our own ice sculpture instead of ordering one.

D: important - Alfred has now joined us in the ice sculpture making

D: its now a competition. You want to be judges

R: yeah

W: send pictures

 ***7 Hours Later - Because Ice Sculpture Making Takes Forever (I Think) And I Needed To Account For Hot Coco Breaks***

D: Ok, you guys ready

D: ***Sends Bruce's first. Its a cute model of Wayne Manor decorated with christmas lights***

W: Dude. That's impressive.

R: hold up. In the third window on the second story: Is that all three of you?

D: yup. nice attemtion to detail from Bruce wan't it.

R: very

D: ***Sends his second. It's of the gigantic Christmas Tree in the center of Gotham Park. It includes a bunch of mini ice poeple sculptures around the tree***

R: I like the people around it

W: I like the shredded ice on top of the tree, looks like snow

D: Twas my goal Rudolph, but thank you

W: dont's call me that

R: lol

 ***30 Minutes Go By***

R: hey, where's Alfreds?

W: Yeah, I want to see his.

D: ...just. I just warn you guys. Prepare.

D: ***Sends Alfred's. It's an entire scale model of all of Gotham. People on Sidewalks, Cars, Telephone lines, Stop signs, neighboorhoods, the docks, buildings, the park, LITERALLY EVERYTHING***

W: oh my fluffy, oh so fluffy pancakes

R: Holy cherry on top

D: IT TAKES UP THE ENTIRE STUDY

D: HE WINS. TEHRES NO DENYING IT

W: WHY IS HE NOT A SUPERHERO

R: ALFRED CAN DO ANYTHING

* * *

 _ **HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND A NEW YEAR EVERYONE!**_

 _ **I PUBLISHED THE FIRST CHPATER ON JUNE 16, NOT AIMING FOR ANYONE TO ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS YOU ALL HAVE! I WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING! 29 CHAPTERS OF RANDOMNESS AND LAUGHS AND YOU HAVE CHANGED EVRYTHING FOR ME! THANK YOU!**_

 **^^That is the note I gave my original readers when I published this chapter on Wattpad. Even though I've only begun posting this story here since the start of this year, I still want to give everyone the same message as I did before, albet it being a few months late.**

 **So thank you.**

 **Uploaded: 4/10/18**


	31. Chapter 30: 2018

**Chapter 30: 2018**

* * *

R: dude I was babysitting Wally at his house, and he had this ridiculous fever. So his friends at (Stars Labs I think?) made this medicine for him cause of his annoying crazy metabolism. Anyways they really overestimated the power of one dose.

R: Wally started crying over the lack of donuts at his place so specifically ordered some to be delivered. Anyways the doorbell rings, Wally of course beats me to the door. He slams it open giving the nice teen a heart attack. Wally doesn't give a care to the world though. He snatches the box from his hands, slams the door shut, and opens the box. He looks at me with this super disappointed face, ready to cry.

R: "Roy, he gave us faulty donuts. See it's missing some donut in the middle." He drops the box and flashes himself upstairs. I have to open the door again to the poor guy outside, slip him a twenty for his troubles and then close door and run upstairs to see Wally crying into his pillow over, "the world is too cruel".

D: I can't stop laughing

* * *

W: so, how did you start off the new year?

D: Bruce held a party for most of the Wayne Enterprise people at his main office building. At the strike of midnight, i freaking rollerbladed into the office room where most of them were, with a fire extingusher strapped to my back, my hair in a crazy mess, wearing a ridiculous ammount of those shiny beaded cheap necklaces, red fruit punch stains around my lips, shouting to bruce directly, "YOU WONT FREAKING BELIVE THIS"

D: Aka. someone apparently 'acceidntly' spiked one of the punch bowls, nothing to serious though, but it was enough for, me, the only minor there to go nuts. Best part though, its all captured on the security camera

W: send me the video PLEASE

* * *

W: what are you up too right now

D: getting a new book set for Barbra's birthday in two weeks

W: didn't you get her some for Christmas

D: yeah, but she literally has no shelf control

W: ...was that an intentional mistake or an accident

D: yes

* * *

W: I went to the Honda dealership with Barry, casue he needed to get his oil changed. The dude said 45 minutes, its almost been an hour and a half. I told Barry that, "This isn't what I paid for." And he told me that, "I didn't pay for anything."

W: i don't know how, but this basically sums up my life right now

* * *

D: do you think Bruce would buy the Jurassic Park franchise if I asked for it nicely

W: throw in a week of chores and I say you have an offer he won't refuse

D: perfect.

D: ...he refused

W: did you try making the chore thing two weeks?

D: who do think I am Wally? I have standards.

R: please shut up both of you

* * *

W: im putting on a show

W: note, there will be fireworks

D: honestly I wasn't going to come before, but now that I know there are fireworks involved, give me a front seat

R: im coming along to see you mess up

W: Roy...

W: ...make sure you bring a camera

* * *

W: what does Batman want in his drink?

W: Just ice

D: haha I get it. lemme tell Bruce

D: on one hand Bruce hates you right now, on the other Alfred's going to bake you cookies because of that joke

W: YES ALFRED'S COOKIESSSS

* * *

 _ **THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE NEW YEAR!**_

 _ **I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE AN AMAZING YEAR AHEAD OF YOU!**_

 **^^Once agin, from the original upload, but I still want all of my readers to have an amazing year!**

 **Uploaded: 4/10/18**


End file.
